


See You Then

by on_tuesdays_we_wear_plaid



Series: Fix-It [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Dean Winchester/Castiel - Freeform, Dean/Castiel - Freeform, Death, Destiel - Freeform, Elvis - Freeform, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Heaven, I REGRET NOTHING, I swear, Lots of Embarrassing Fluff, Lung Cancer, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, Soulmates, Twist and Shout
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 10:43:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5001655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/on_tuesdays_we_wear_plaid/pseuds/on_tuesdays_we_wear_plaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's in the hospital, and he's been diagnosed with lung cancer.<br/>Sam's worried he won't make it, but Jess is sure that he'll get better.<br/>Needless to say?<br/>He doesn't.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	See You Then

Dean blinked. “What?” he asked again.

Dr. Kelly thumbed through her notes again. “Pulmonary carcinoma, also known as carcinoma of the lung, is a malignant tumor—“

“I don’t understand.”

Dr. April Kelly sighed. “Cancer, Mr. Winchester. You have lung cancer.”

Dean paled. “I what?”

“Due to your smoking habits, you’ve developed lung cancer. Smoking is by far the main contributor to lung cancer. Cigarette smoke contains at least 73 known carcinogens,including benzo pyrene NNK, [1,3-butadiene](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1,3-butadiene) and a [radioactive isotope](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioisotope) of polonium, [polonium-210](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polonium-210).” She looked up. “We’re certain, before you ask. Your chest radiograph came out as positive. We also ran a pulmonary function test, and the results showed poor respiratory reserve. Surgery might not be possible.”

Dean raised a shaky hand and ran it through his hair. “Fuck,” he muttered. “How bad is it?”

Dr. Kelly examined her notes again. “Stage two. If you’d come in sooner we might have been able to—“

“Well, excuse me, but I was in Kansas visiting my niece! How the fuck was I supposed to know it was a damn cancer?” he barked. He looked down at his shaking hands, taking a deep breath to make sure this was actually happening.

Dr. Kelly sighed again. “Mr. Winchester, we’re going to have to place you in medical care soon. Do you want to call your brother and let him know? He is your emergency contact, isn’t he?” she asked.

Dean drew a tremulous breath. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Dr. Kelly nodded and left, closing the door behind her. Dean pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He stopped when he got to Cas.

Cas. Castiel Novak, the love of Dean Winchester’s life. It had only been a year since he’d gotten sick and died, but Dean missed him so much. He would give anything, _anything_ , for Cas to be with him again. Just one more day…

He clicked his name and waited for the voicemail. “ _Hi, this is Castiel Novak. I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks._ ”

He felt a hot tear trickle down his cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m coming home. I love you,” he whispered into the phone. Tears splashed onto the surface of his phone as he held his head in his hands. He wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his jacket before dialing Sam’s number into the phone. He’d rather not go through the Contacts list again, thank you very much.

“Sam?”

“ _Hey, Dean!_ ” Dean heard the sound of paper shuffling and Sam talking to someone else. “ _I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. Is everything okay?_ ”

Dean took a deep breath before he replied, “Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine, Sammy. No need to worry about me.”

Sam was silent. “Sammy?” Dean asked. “Are you still there?”

“ _Yeah, man. Still here._ ”

”What happened?”

“ _I don’t know. You tell me, Dean. Is…is it Cas_?” Sam asked hesitantly.

Dean flinched at the sound of his name. “Don’t you _ever_ —“ he began, but he cut himself off. Now was not the time to get into a huge bitch-fight with Sam. Right now he needed to say goodbye. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He sighed and covered his mouth with his hand before continuing. “No, it’s—it’s not him. It’s….” he trailed off.

“ _Dean?”_

“Lung cancer.”

There was a pause. “ _…What?”_

“I have lung cancer, Sam. I’m gonna die.” Even as he said it, his eyes were shut tightly, not wanting to open, too scared that this might not be happening. That he wasn’t gonna see Cas soon. That he wasn’t going home.

“ _You have lung cancer?!_ ” Dean could hear the distinct sound of Sam cursing and a heavy book being thrown against the wall. “ _Fuck, Dean! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”_

“I just found out!” he screamed, unintentionally.

“ _How long do you have?_ ”

“I don’t know, but I hope it isn’t long. I miss him, Sam, every fucking day. I can’t take it anymore. You know—“he lowered his voice, not realizing that people were still outside in the hallways. Fuck, this late at night? It was ten o’ clock! “You know, today’s our anniversary? Of the day we met?”

“….Sam?”

…Fuck. Okay, well, that didn’t go too well. Ah, hell, he’d try again later. Right now, he’d go home and listen to some Elvis while reading some of Cas’ letters.

After he’d checked in with the doc, obviously.

Dean got home and opened up his letterbox. Well, it wasn’t _his_ letterbox—it was— _used_ to be—Cas’. Whenever Dean felt like shit, he’d take Cas’ box down from its high shelf in the closet and read. He’d cry like a baby, obviously, but afterwards he’d always feel better. It didn’t work this time.

He sighed in frustration. He put the letters back and switched the radio on, turning up the volume.

“ _Wise men say…_ ”

Dean took a deep breath. Why did it have to be this song?

“ _Only fools rush in_ …”

He sank into the armchair, taking another sip of his coffee before he placed the mug down on the side table. He noticed another letter underneath the mug and grabbed his coffee again, gingerly picking up the papers.

He knew immediately which one this was.

“ _But I can’t help falling in love with you…_ ”

This was the first one he’d ever read. It had creases from being folded and unfolded repeatedly.

“ _Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?_ ”

_Can we stay here forever?_

_Forever’s a long time, Dean._

“ _If I can’t help falling in love with you…_ ”

_I love you in my bed at night, and when I wake up, and I love hearing you sing, and I love telling you to stop bothering me, and I love walking to Van’s Noodle House with you, and I love you--I love you, so promise you’ll be like the ocean and come back to me, even when they pull you away. Always come back to me._

“ _Like a river flows…_ ”

_What kind of music do you like? Tell me everything; tell me everything about you._

_I like Elvis._

_Elvis. I can dig Elvis._

“ _Surely to the sea…_ ”

_…Oh, Dean…you…finally came home…to me._

“ _Darling, so it goes…_ ”

_It’s alright. You can let go, I know—I know you’re holding on, because you’re worried. You’re too stubborn, Cas, and I know you’re holding on for me, but I’m going to do the right thing this time. I’m not—I’m not going to make you wait on me again._

“ _Some things are meant to be…_ ”

Tears rolled down his cheeks and splashed onto the paper.

“ _Take my hand…_ ”

_What are you doing?_

_Taking you to the beach._

“ _Take my whole life too…_ ”

Dean folded the letter up again without reading it. He’d already memorized it by heart, word for word.

“ _For I can’t help falling in love with you._ ”

He got up and grabbed a piece of paper, a pencil, and sat down at the kitchen table. He began to write.

” _Like a river flows…”_

_Married people don’t leave each other._

“ _Surely to the sea…”_

_Because that’s what old people do!_

_Dear Cas,_

_Baby, I miss you. I miss you so bad. It’s alright, though. I’m coming home. I’m coming._

_Today, I got diagnosed with lung cancer. I’m so sorry. But it’s okay. I’ll be okay. I miss you. I miss you all the time. I visit your grave whenever I get sad, or lonely, or I miss you. I’m there a lot._

_Sometimes I have dreams. Not nightmares; dreams. Good dreams. I’ll be with you, dancing, or walking, or you’ll just be there, and I’ll be happy. Then I’ll wake up. Sometimes I forget that you’re gone. When I forget, I search my apartment for you. You’re nowhere to be found. Then I remember that you’re gone and you’re not coming back, and it breaks my heart._

_Elvis released a new album last week. I bought it and I played it at your grave. Whenever he releases a new one, I always buy it for you. I can dig Elvis, remember? I also brought you flowers. I know you liked flowers. Forget-Me-Not’s were your favorite. I think I see why, now. I have some in the kitchen to remind me of you._

_Cas, I love you. I wish I could do it all over again. Falling in love with you was a mistake, but it was a mistake worth making, baby. If I had one more day with you, I’d tell you all the things I never got to tell you, and I’d hold you, and I’d kiss you and I’d never let go. I wish you were here._

_The war ruined me. I’m sorry. I know that I never really came back. I wish…I wish I’d realized that you were there when I came back. The love of my life was right there, never giving up on me, and when I left him, he waited. He waited for me for ten damn years, and he forgave me. He forgave ME, and he APOLOGIZED even though HE didn’t do anything wrong. Cas, you didn’t do anything wrong. You did everything right, babe. I should’ve said sorry. I should have begged for forgiveness. I should never have left you. That was wrong, and stupid, and selfish, and so many other horrible things. I didn’t deserve you. But you loved me anyways. You’re an angel. Maybe literally now._

_Anyways, I’ll be there soon. I hate to ask this, but will you wait for me to come home? You will, won’t you?_

_I don’t know how to end this letter. I’m just so fucking confused. My head is spinning, my mouth is dry, and I just want to die soon so I can see your beautiful face again._

_Doesn’t seem right, does it? Doesn’t seem right to say goodbye. Not even now._

_See you then,_

_Dean_

By now, the song was finishing up, and Dean heard Elvis’ voice sing out the last line of the song.

“ _For I can’t help falling in love with you_ …”

He’d stopped crying, but he still felt empty. Ever since the war, there’d been this hole in his soul that Cas, only Cas, could fill. He didn’t know what to do now. He pushed his chair back and placed the letter in his letterbox. All of his letters to Cas went in there.

He switched off the radio and collapsed on the sofa, feeling too tired to change before falling asleep.

_Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!_

Dean groaned and lifted his face off of the couch cushion, still- half-asleep. He groggily searched for the source of the buzzing.

_Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!_

He found his phone and answered it, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah?” he mumbled.

“ _Dean? Is that you?_ ” Sam?

“Sam?”

“ _Yeah, Dean, it’s me. Sorry I hung up on you earlier. I was frustrated. Do you want to come and stay with me and Jess_?” he asked. Dean could tell that he’d been crying.

“Uh, no thanks. I’m actually pretty comfortable right now. When I get placed in hospital care, though, I’ll let you know. How’s that sound?”

“ _Okay, I guess. It’s just that—are you sure there’s nothing they can do for you? I mean, it’s only at stage two, right? Couldn’t they fix it?_ ”

Dean shrugged, then remembered that his brother couldn’t see him over the phone. “I don’t know.” If they cured him, Dean was going to have to take matters into his own hands. And he didn’t want to do that. Not to Sam and Jess. Not to Cas.

“ _Alright, well, I’ll call you later. Let me know if you need anything, alright?_ ”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Sammy.” He heard his brother chuckle lightly over the phone before hanging up and planting his face in the pillow again. He tried not to think about the fact that Cas was gone. He tried not to think about what would happen to his brother if he left.

Maybe if he was really lucky, he’d suffocate in his sleep.

 

 

He didn’t suffocate. He didn’t die quickly. The next few months were torture. Three months later, it progressed to stage three. He called Sam, who (as expected) did not respond well.

“Hey, Sammy.”

“ _Hey, Dean. How’s everything_?”

“Uh….” He wasn’t about to just come out and tell Sam that it had gotten worse. No way.

“ _Has it gotten better?_ ”

“Well…no.” He winced. “The cancer’s gotten worse, and I’m gonna be admitted to the hospital in a few minutes. I’m in the waiting room right now.”

He heard Sam gasp. “ _How bad is it now?_ ” he asked, his voice tremulous.

“Pretty bad,” Dean admitted. “It’s, uh, it’s pretty bad, Sammy. Do…I hate to ask you, but do you think you could come and visit me? Sometime soon?”

“ _Why_?”

“It’s progressed. It’s already reached my esophagus.” Dean waited with baited breath for his brother’s reply, rubbing his throat subconciously.

“ _Can’t they cure it?_ ” Dean could tell that Sam was crying.

“No.”

“ _I’ll be there by next week. Jess’ll be there too. We’ll get a sitter for Abby, don’t worry. Just…just hold on, okay? I wanna be there when…_ ” Sam swallowed.

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I gotta go, the nurse is waiting. See you then,” he said without thinking. He realized what he just said and buried his face in his hands.

“ _Dean? Dean, you’re still on the line. Dean? Dean! De—_ “

Dean sighed, rubbed his eyes, and got up, following the nurse to his hospital room.

Sam sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. “Damnit,” he muttered.

“Is something wrong, Sam?” Jess asked, coming into his office and closing the door.

“Yeah. Dean’s in the hospital.”

Jess put her hands over her mouth in shock. “Oh my God. How bad is it?”

Sam sighed, rubbing his forehead and pushing his bangs aside. “It’s grown. I don’t think they can cure it. He—“ he swallowed and wiped his eyes furiously. “He asked me to come and see him. Ever since we moved to Kansas for my job, it’s been difficult to go and see him. I just can’t find the time, and he never calls, either.”

Jess nodded solemnly. “Are you going?”

“Yeah. I imagine you’d like to come?”

“Absolutely."


End file.
